May 2013
1 post
1 tag
March 2013
5 posts
MY PRETTY SCHEMA revisited
MY PRETTY SCHEMA IS
“if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t happen to me.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t treat me that way.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t be mean to me.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t pick on me.” “if i were pretty, __________, i would have more friends.” “if i were pretty, __________, people would want to talk to me.” “if i were pretty, __________,...
me on my friends
For some reason, I do not really have one good friend. I think the reason for that is because for a while I was an only child and i spent most of my time alone. I think that makes it difficult for me to develop certain social skills. I also think not being able to open up to people also makes it difficult for me to make friends. I often lose friends, I really don’t think it’s me...
things you may not know about me
I spend ALOT of my time researching things on the internet I sometimes use profanity I have panic attacks about anything and everything/worry alot I am not a virgin
I think it is hard for me to open up to you because it is hard for me to open up to anyone. I am not used to talking about my problems because I feel like I am being a baby about things and also, I often do not know how to...
me on self diagnosed issues:
When I came back from VCU, i feel like there are things I learned about myself but didn’t quite know how to articulate and would like to discuss. +OCD There were signs of OCD before I left such as always watching where I am stepping, getting itchy and uncomfortable around speckle-patterned flooring, getting itchy when it rained due to trash being wet and soggy, Feeling really irritable and...
June 2012
6 posts
May 2012
77 posts
conversation with my good friend Allison (the only...
me: you know i feel like i am supposed to be myself in therapy
allison: yeah, that's what therapy is about...
me: but I am not because i feel like my therapist would be appalled by my constant use of profanity and apathy for things like knee pads and helmets.
me: i feel like she would be appalled by photos containing nudity and tattoos and alcohol and how liberal my mind is. but then if she sees them i feel like she will think i actually partake in these activities, which one day i might, and judge me. it's only human.
me: and then i feel, what does it even matter because i feel like my dad just uses therapy as a way for him to manipulate into his way because the issues never really get solved. he usually gets what he wants and i am just made out to be the "awful" child with rebellious issues or the naive child who knows nothing then i just have to deal with it.
i have stated a few times over and over that my main problem, is focusing and putting so much weight on the negative. on things i cannot control such as my genetic makeup, my family and how they treat me and my financial standings. it honestly is a never ending cycle. I can never do anything like get a job so i can never get anything that i have wanted for years that just keeps piling up and my...
cndylpz:
The Only Moment We Were Alone. by...
i've been feeling resentful
about signing the paper for umw. i asked some people about it (minus the girl i asked before because it’s obvious she didn’t like it). the other people weren’t to reassuring either. I feel sad because i really wanted to go back to vcu but that just doesn’t matter…
my pretty schema is
“if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t happen to me.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t treat me that way.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t be mean to me.” “if i were pretty, __________ wouldn’t pick on me.” “if i were pretty, __________, i would have more friends.” “if i were pretty, __________,...
so had a conversation with dad about my school...
as i have had every day for the past few weeks. and basically he said he wouldn’t support my choice to go back to vcu. which is typical. and he kept repeating the same thing he always does when i want to do something that isn’t according to his liking. then he went on to insulting as he always does. And finally for once, instead of sitting there and taking his insults and getting more...
“I believe that happiness is something we create.”
– Sugarland
